His Choice, My Destiny
by Delusive Longan
Summary: CONTAINS FF SLASH (aka shoujo-ai) -- Mia reflects on important emotions, such as unrequited love, in the world around her...


A/N: Anyone who has read my previous works will note an unusual twist in main ideas and pairings for this story. Hopefully you can enjoy a change in scenery.

This is a one-shot. _ONE_-shot. I was going to make my nickname be "the One-Shot Hot Shot" then I wrote "Until Death Do Us Part", and that went out the window. So anyway, here's a _one-shot_ from the mind of "Chance Romance", Delusive Longan.

This story is written in Mia's POV.

His Choice, My Destiny

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Delusive Longan

I fed my ideas to the fire and watched as the flames burned holes in my poetry. Imil was always frigid, but there was no snow and the landscape was damp and muddy. The cold air around me threatened to blow out the flame, but I warded it off by adding kindling, my parchment musings, to the fire.

Like fires are fueled by wood, my ideas are fueled by my passion, passionate feelings from unrequited love. Isaac told me he hadn't found the answer to why it exists, but he was working on it.

He told me he could relate to unrequited love. For that reason, he loves my poetry. 

Isaac is probably capable of writing better poetry than I am. He is very philosophical, and puts his mind to work very logically. He claims that he does not have the ability to pour his passion into words, but I don't believe him.

He has always agreed that love is a precious, yet blind emotion. He says that is sees no boundary, and it surpasses everything. Gender included.

He knows I love Jenna. He tells me to take chances, even if it means losing everything. He says people don't realize how happy they could be if they took those chances.

The way he says things that no one expects is the most astounding thing about him. I never once thought that he could tell me the things he does, and every word he speaks, he speaks as if it is the absolute truth. It is very easy to believe that his opinions are law. So I was surprised that he could say one statement in a non-presumptuous manner. 

He told me he loved me and expected nothing in return.

It was his decision to take a risk. I have no control over his emotions. Then why do I feel so rotten? He even _knows_ I can't return his feelings.

There was no paper left to burn in the fire. I added some sticks to keep the flame going. As I watched the flames dance, I was reminded of Jenna… and I felt colder. My heart was filled with empty space.

Jenna's beauty enchanted and seduced me. Her mind made me crazy and her voice made me smile. She really did make me crazy, with want and need. 

Is it really true that you want what you can't have? Because if so, that explains a lot. 

Isaac was in love with Jenna once too. He learned a lot about her during that time, and passed the information on to me. I already knew of the way she breathed softly in her sleep and the way she twisted her hair when she was nervous. He told me how her eyes shone mischievously before she went into battle or initiated verbal combat. He told me her lips were as soft as clouds.

I am drowning in my misery. I am drowning in the cold darkness of my mind.

Choices, Isaac believed, were a lot simpler than balancing the goods and the bads of every situation. He told me, with complete confidence, that the only factor of making decisions was what your heart told you. Whatever felt right was the right choice.

He even believed that humans were controlled by their choices. He knew magic existed and could not deny it, but he still thought that above all, life was ruled by choices.

That is our fundamental difference. Because I believe in destiny.

I don't explain things the way he does. My words are not quite as simple as his are, yet they are what I use to describe my beliefs.

To me, destiny is everything that cannot be explained. Contrary to Isaac, there are things in this world that could never be explained with a single phrase. I believe in decisions that change circumstances, but who can explain miracles?

To him, destiny is an explanation for nothing. He believes it is a mere excuse for people who cannot understand their own choices. For those who cannot control their future. 

Someday he will learn that he cannot control everything.

I thought before that I could make the easiest choice of all. If I chose to love Isaac, I could free us all from a cycle of misery. I would not have to continue pricking myself on the thorn of my unrequited love for Jenna, because I would have him. 

It really isn't that simple. I already love him as much as I can. I searched my soul, and found there was no desire to be with him… not the way I want Jenna. 

A sudden gust blew out my fire. I sighed, feeling the cold shake my body. I shuffled inside, shaking out my wet coat and hanging it on the rack near the door. I felt warmth seep into my body again. My grandfather beckoned me over to where he was sitting in his old rocker near the fireplace. I stood behind him, wrapping another blanket over his shoulders, and one around myself. 

My ears blocked out the crackling of the fire, almost as if the world was condemned to go on in silence. Tomorrow, I decided, I would journey to Vale. I would tell Jenna the same thing Isaac told me, and I would also expect nothing in return.

It is my choice. It will not haunt her.

It was his choice, and will haunt me no more.

__

His choice is not my destiny.

A/N: Honestly, if anyone read that story and understands what I was trying to teach or express, I'd like it if they could tell me. Feel free to review and tell me if you have your own ideas.

- Delusive Longan


End file.
